Parents are NOT the Enemy! How NOT to Get Jaded Working In Education

I don’t do this often, but when I do, it’s important.

I pulled this image from another group.

The child, a 7 year old, completed this paper, likely for Mother’s Day and the teacher shared it with the school counselor asking her to meet with the child.

While I don’t know all the details, I was really disappointed by some of the responses of other professionals. Without leading too much, let’s just say that they had all but convicted this mom of neglect, possibly abuse, based on these few misspelled words.

It is of course possible that there is reason to be concerned and I understand the need to err on the side of caution, I do want to advocate for parents and families and encourage us to always check our own bias and quickness to judgement.

While there could be cause for concern here’s what could also or even alternatively be true.

Maybe mom curses for fun but is also loving.
Maybe mom is depressed and texting a mental health hotline.
Maybe mom is in college and taking classes from her phone.
Maybe mom has multiple children and is busy.
Maybe mom is working extra hours and not present as often as the child would like.

In our quest to protect children let’s not pretend that our good intentions cause us to instantly assume parents are villains. Families come in all shapes and sizes and judging parents by our own experiences is a slippery slope. When mom walks in the building, every staff member who was shown this page by her teacher will already have a preconceived notion about mom, her parenting style and more. In the group where I saw this, about 40 or 50 comments expressed sympathy for the child and frustration with “these kind” of parents. In my group of School Social Workers and Mental Health Providers the response was a little different.

If you struggle with parents, check out my workshop, Getting Parents on Board.