Responding to Challenging Behaviors in Your Preschool Classroom

There’s no doubt that preschoolers hitting and biting is one of the biggest concerns in the classroom.

We’ve already talked about how most of the challenging behaviors that we see are developmentally appropriate. But we still want to keep our room safe, so we have to have ways of managing these behaviors. An ounce of prevention goes a long way, so if you haven’t seen it yet, check out the post about preventing aggression in the classroom here.

But there are times, when in spite of our best effort, structured environment and all, we still see breakthrough ‘bad’ behaviors. When that happens you have to be ready to intervene.

Dealing with Aggression:

Stay calm but be firm. Working with new teachers, one of the hardest concepts to grasp is that you cannot be perfect. Your classroom, especially early in the year, may have some challenging behaviors. Don’t overreact to what you see. The energy you bring to the classroom matters. Your yelling or overreaction signals to your student that you are NOT in control and can escalate behavior further. Practice using a tone of voice that is firm, but kind and calm.

Give time outs. Timeouts have gotten a bad rap over the years, but let me tell you how I use them. A time out is a pause, an opportunity to reflect and allow the nervous system to reset. When used appropriately, time outs can be safe and effective. You can put a toy on timeout or an area of the classroom and allow children to play elsewhere or separate. You can also separate a child from the area of conflict. Apply them immediately and keep them brief, no more than 1 minute per year of age. Ensure that your child knows that solitude is for relaxation rather than punishment. That means no facing the wall, holding books, etc. If you prefer you can simply call it a break.

Encourage empathy. It’s often preferable to let kids work out their differences themselves. However, there are times when you need to step in if emotions are too strong or someone may get injured. Talk about how the person is feeling, use an emotion card to have them point out how they feel or a safe choices card to encourage their asking for what they need.

Band together. When parents drop off the kids we want them to know that their child is safe with us. So many times we can be reluctant to tell them we’re having a hard time. Communicate with caregivers about what you are seeing. Sometimes this is also being seen at home and other times it can be helpful to have their reinforcement of what you are doing in class.

Time to go home. I consider this to be the last resort, but there are times when it’s necessary. This can be a signal to kids that what they have done is significant enough to warrant a major ‘break’ from the classroom, but it also lets parents know that we need their help. This is the last resort because it can backfire and reinforce that ‘bad’ behavior if the child is rewarded at home or is actually looking for more attention. My general rule of thumb is that behavior that is dangerous and not redirectable is considered for going home.

Seek professional help. If you’re seeing a new or increasing level of aggression, there are times when professional help is needed. Your center should have a relationship with a behavioral consultant, like myself, or a therapist and if you’ve tried these strategies with little to no help, it’s time to call them in. A behavioral observation and intake are common ways a professional like myself can help.

Avoid spanking. A growing body of research confirms the negative effects of corporal punishment. I wish it could go without saying, but never use physical discipline with children. Frequent spankings tend to undermine a child’s self-esteem and increase the chances they’ll use physical force themselves. While some cultures still lean on these practices, it is not necessary and can often cause more harm than good. Consider alternatives that respect your cultural norms now what we are finding the research is clear regarding the negative effects of corporal punishment. Even in states where it may be allowed, the risk is just too high.

Most toddlers and preschoolers will naturally develop more self-control as they grow older. Until then, you can reduce aggressive behavior by providing a loving and nurturing classroom, consistent discipline, and practicing peaceful alternatives to aggression.

How do you handle aggression in your classroom? Sound off with your best tips in the comments below.